Thursday, September 11, 2008

Day 11 - Weep with Those Who Weep

September 11th seems like a good day to look at the other directive in Romans 12. We already looked at the call to "Rejoice with those who rejoice." Today let's think about "Weep with those who weep."

Often we're fearful of drawing close to someone in pain or grief. We're afraid of saying the wrong thing, making things worse.

But simply letting our eyes fill with compassion as a friend shares their pain, can be a tremendous gift.

On a side note, the effort to think of small kind acts for each day has helped me notice more of the kind acts that others have done for me. I have my radar up because I'm looking for good ideas to share on this blog--and it's stirred a deep gratefulness in me. People are kind to me so often! In all of the ways I've listed here. Have you found the same thing? Have you been noticing more of the kindnesses that others offer to you?

Now, I'm going to think of my friends who are grieving the recent loss of a loved one, or suffering a health setback, or struggling with unemployment, and think of a way to quietly come alongside and just be there for them.

Blessings!
Sharon

4 comments:

Melonie said...

What a beautiful blog! I found you via my friend Eleanor's blog, A Cup of Cold Water.

I have to share the kindnesses that strangers blessed me with yesterday. I'm a military wife and my husband is away on training - so of course the dog got sick! I had to take her to the vet yesterday with a toddler in a stroller and a homeschooled (ie no childcare) elementary child. I was expecting a horrible time - but the staff was more than wonderful. One woman took the dog into the exam room while I pushed the stroller; on our way back out, another woman pushed the stroller while I controlled the dog. At one point my daughter left to sit in the foyer, and an older woman there chatted with her while we tried to get the sick dog examined. When it came time for her shots, the baby and I left and the staff dealt with her all alone - letting me take a break to go calm down.

Getting there and getting home were still hard, but nobody batted an eyelash at my stressed-to-the-gills tears (did I mention we're moving soon and can't take said dog, so I was also asking the vet about potential homes? OY!) and they went out of their way to help without me even having to ask. The appointment took so long that we were running late for my daughter's ballet class, and afterward when I went to apologize, the teacher didn't mind; instead she asked if we could all go to lunch next week, her treat, as some time to have one-on-one chatting with my daughter instead of in class!

WOW. That's the reason I tell folks the most helpful thing they can do when they see someone with a stroller and an armload is to just open a door, carry a bag - any little thing could make a person's day. It sure made MINE!

Wishing you many successes with your project and new book!

Sharon Hinck said...

Hi, Melonie!
Your comment is SO terrific, I'm going to use this idea for tomorrow's post. The way small courtesies (like holding the door, or helping with a stroller) can make a WORLD of difference to someone feeling a little overwhelmed.

Blessing to you as you cope with everything while your husband is training. Thank you for the sacrifices you are both making for the sake of our country.

Kat said...

I can very much relate to this one. When I was young, my best friend's brother got very sick and even after tons of treatment, the time finally came when the doctors began to count his remaining days, there was nothing they could do to save his life. I was only 5 or 6, he was only 2. I remember my mom telling me that she went to the hospital to see the boy and his mom, and that she (my mom) and the mom of the sick boy sat and cried together for a long time. After he had passed, my mom received a thank you note from the other mom. The other mom said that though everyone had been wonderful and supportive, they had all offered messages to "stay strong" and "you'll get through this," but my mom was the only one who said, "it's OK to cry, let's do it together."

25+ years later, I still remember that. My sister-in-law was seriously burned in an accident 5 months ago, and from time to time I take her for her doctor's appointments to have the wounds cleaned. It is very painful and at each one I hold her hand, hug her tight, and tell her it's OK to cry. I usually cry with her. She's told me on multiple occassions how glad she is to feel "safe enough" to weep, and to have someone who can "feel" what she's going through.

Just this Monday, my boss' mother passed away. He's a man of a man, the size and strength of a linebacker. When he called to tell me the news on Tuesday, I wasn't sure what to say. As he was telling me what happened, he began to get choked up. I began to cry, as well. He asked if I was OK, if I was crying. I told him yes on both counts, and he said he was glad I was not "judging him" for his tears -- real men aren't supposed to cry.

I've written a novel here, but I just wanted to say from experience that I couldn't agree more with what you have said in this post. Offering not only support, but a shoulder to cry on (and sometimes, genuine tears of your own) can make a big difference to someone who is going through a difficult time.

Sharon Hinck said...

Oh, Kat!
What a beautiful post. Thank you SO MUCH for sharing these experiences.
You are so right.
Tears (and the permission to others to shed their own tears) can be a true gift.